I have given up writing beautiful prose.(don’t laugh)
Instead of just not ever publishing because of limited time I think I’m just going to start publishing my thoughts as they come. Some I think would be useful to my readers and other well they might just be good practice for me. (Besides it’s not like I can’t go back and delete the really bad ones)
So here goes you have all been warned. Actually what I should have is a weekly wrap up like so many other bloggers have. But again then I wait because it’s unfinished and never end up publishing because the moment has passed.
So let’s get started.
I’m suffering from the one more year syndrome.
But first let’s take a step back.
Life changes so fast. Sometimes it’s an accident at a river, sometimes it’s because you can’t watch your mouth and don’t know how good you have it. Either way life changes in the blink of an eye sometimes.
I mean really official
I’m suffering from the one more year syndrome.*
At the beginning of this month I had the perfect excuse to quit. I have been wanting to quit for … forever. And at the beginning of this month, I had the perfect excuse. But what did I do instead?
I extracted my claws, dug deep and clung tight. Too scared to let go. Too scared to take action.
Too scared to QUIT!
Instead of using this sudden excuse to take the year off. (My year off, that I planned almost 7 yrs ago.)
The timing was off. It wasn’t even June. That is when I had planned to reevaluate the job. To decided. I mean I wanted to max out my 401k before I left. Plus I just started this new position in December.
Excuses or reasons to not leave I had.
So instead of making a decision to leave I made the decision to try and stay.
So what happened?
Well, our 5 person household is down to 4. Oh and also we have no childcare.
Let me tell you, living in a multi generational house hold is hard. I’ll tell you about it some other time.
The imminent problem that needed to be addressed was who is going to take care of the kids?
Due to our previous fortune we had no non family people in our resources. So we hodge podged a week of care. Discussed possibilities and finally decided that……
I could work nights.
Do you see it now? Is it clear? me clinging to work when I have the perfect excuse to quit.
Well things got shifted around and now I am working night shift. But I know I really do want to leave, because I was actually surprised when my boss said OK. You see I had tried to get the exact same arrangement right after my daughter was born and they had said most certainly “No”. So I thought I would walk in there propose the idea. And leave thinking I had done everything to keep the job. But, oh well they had said no and its out of my hands now.
I mean talk about not wanting to be the one to make the decision.
So here I am working nights. Hanging on tight to my one more year.
I say it’s because I want to max out my 401k. Which is actually completely true. But I also think I just didn’t like the idea of altering my plan. June and December were the milestones for quitting. For multiple reasons too. The 401k and another which was the fact I was also intrigued by Financial Samurai’s book How to Engineer your layoff and wanted to give that a try.
But at root of it I guess I’m just scared of losing what I already have. A steady paycheck! More ammunition for our f-you money pot.
As of now I’ve survived the month and now have 8k of this years 401k safely sitting in my account. Yet I have to admit this is not where I want to be. How do I know? It would suck to pass on now. I see this is not ideal for the family and that the arrangement should only be temporary. That as it is I’m not entirely sure I am making the right decision.
On the positive side. I was also afraid of being at home all day with the kids. Let’s be realistic the change would take some getting use to . Now however I’m doing it and on very little sleep. So when I finally take time off it should be a piece of cake. 🙂
* one more year syndrome is a commonly used phrase by FI people to describe some one who is Financially Independent but keeps pushing off taking the plunge and leaving the 9-5. Worried and thinking that one more year will provide them more safety.
I am not FI but my family is in a position to be able to not just survive but continue to thrive on one income for a year. That is why I am diagnosing myself with the one more year syndrome
We all say we won’t be scared to take the plunge but its quite a different experience when the decision is staring you in the face.